Islam establishes a balanced framework for marriage, ensuring mutual rights and responsibilities for both spouses. A successful marriage thrives on love, respect, and adherence to Islamic principles. The Quran and Hadith highlight the importance of fulfilling each other’s rights to maintain a harmonious relationship.
The Husband’s Rights Over His Wife
1. The Duty of Obedience
Allah has appointed the husband as the protector and maintainer of the family. The Quran states:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are obedient to Allah and their husbands, and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard.”
(Quran 4:34)
Ibn Abbas (RA) said: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women means that they should obey him in what Allah has enjoined upon her, treat his family well, and safeguard his wealth.” (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 1/492)
2. Responding to Intimacy
One of the major rights of the husband is that his wife should respond to his need for intimacy unless she has a valid reason such as illness or obligatory fasting. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.” (Bukhari 3065, Muslim 1436)
3. Not Allowing Strangers into His Home
A wife should respect her husband’s household and not allow anyone he dislikes to enter. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission.”
(Bukhari 4899, Muslim 1026)
4. Respect and Honor
Islam prohibits wives from speaking ill of their husbands. The Prophet ﷺ warned:
“O women! Give in charity, for I have been shown that you shall be the majority of the people of Hell.” They asked, ‘Why, O Messenger of Allah?’ He replied, ‘You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.'”
(Bukhari)
A wife should guard her husband’s dignity, refrain from exposing private matters, and seek to resolve issues privately and respectfully.
5. Seeking Permission Before Leaving the House
A wife should not leave the home without her husband’s permission, as part of maintaining harmony in the household.
6. Serving the Husband in a Reasonable Manner
A wife should care for her husband’s needs, including preparing meals, looking after the household, and raising children. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
“She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing.”
(al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)
7. Beautifying Herself for Her Husband
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The best of women is the one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands, and does not go against his wishes regarding herself or his wealth.” (An-Nasaa’i)
The Wife’s Rights Over Her Husband
1. Financial Support
It is the husband’s duty to provide for his wife’s needs, including food, clothing, and shelter. Allah says:
“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.” (Quran 65:7)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best among you to my wives.”
(Ibn Majah, Sahih by Albani)
2. Kind and Respectful Treatment
A husband must treat his wife with kindness and patience. Allah commands:
“And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.”
(Quran 4:19)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.”
(Tirmidhi 1162, Hasan)
3. Protecting Her Dignity
A husband should not insult, degrade, or expose his wife’s shortcomings. The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A believer must not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he should be pleased with another.”
(Muslim 1469)
4. Fulfilling Her Emotional and Physical Needs
A husband should not neglect his wife’s need for love, care, and companionship. The Prophet ﷺ advised a companion who was fasting excessively and neglecting his wife:
“Your wife has a right over you.”
(Bukhari)
5. Allowing Her to Visit Family
A husband should allow his wife to maintain ties with her family, as long as it does not bring harm to the marriage.
6. Being Patient and Avoiding Harsh Discipline
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Do not hit the female servants of Allah.”
(Abu Dawood, Sahih by Albani)
If a wife disobeys in something serious, the Quran prescribes a step-by-step approach: advising her, withdrawing from intimacy, and as a last resort, disciplining lightly without harm (Quran 4:34). However, the Prophet ﷺ emphasized kindness and discouraged harshness in dealing with one’s wife.
Mutual Responsibilities in Marriage
Marriage in Islam is based on love, mercy, and mutual understanding. Allah says:
“And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves spouses that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who reflect.”
(Quran 30:21)
The Prophet ﷺ emphasized mutual respect and understanding:
“The best of you are those who are best to their families.”
(Tirmidhi)
Conclusion
A successful marriage requires both spouses to fulfill their duties while upholding each other’s rights. Instead of demanding rights first, Islam teaches to start by giving them. Communicate, be patient, and avoid unnecessary conflicts. By following the teachings of Islam, both husband and wife can attain happiness and, ultimately, the pleasure of Allah.
May Allah bless all marriages with love, understanding, and righteousness. Ameen.